That first morning back at work can feel surreal. Your pump bag is packed (or not, depending on your feeding choice), your outfit carefully chosen, and your heart doing emotional gymnastics. This transition is a full-body experience shaped by hormones, emotions, and societal expectations. Let’s break down what’s really happening and, more importantly, how to navigate it with confidence.
When you're away from your baby, your body knows it. Your cortisol (stress hormone) rises, while oxytocin (the bonding hormone) dips. This explains why you might feel anxious, distracted, or even physically uncomfortable, even when everything at work is going smoothly. It's more than just emotions, it comes down to human biology.
A UK study found that up to 85% of parents experience some form of anxiety about returning to work. This is completely normal, and understanding it can help you manage it more effectively.
If you feel like your brain is working differently post-baby, you’re not imagining it. Research shows that parental brain changes prioritize caregiving-related tasks. This doesn’t mean you’re less competent at work, just that your brain is optimizing for multiple roles. Some days you’ll feel razor-sharp, and others you might forget why you walked into a room. Both are perfectly okay.
Your body is still on baby time, which means:
Prolactin and oxytocin surge during pumping sessions.
Looking at baby photos can increase milk production by up to 30%.
Stress can temporarily impact supply.
Pumping might make you feel sleepy (thanks, oxytocin).
Hydration needs increase significantly.
Napper’s tips: Block time in your schedule for pumping breaks, and advocate for a private, comfortable space. Many countries have workplace laws protecting this right, so be sure to research your local policies.
Your transition is just as significant. You may face different but equally valid challenges, like:
Managing guilt or societal pressure about feeding choices
Navigating sleep deprivation without the hormonal boost of prolactin-induced drowsiness
Figuring out new routines for feeding, bonding, and soothing after work
Napper’s tips: Whether you’re formula-feeding, combo-feeding, or weaning, create a feeding/bonding ritual after work to reconnect with your baby. This could be skin-to-skin time, a bath, or reading together.
No matter where you live, it’s worth researching your legal rights. Many countries offer protections like:
Paid or unpaid parental leave
Pumping breaks and private spaces (e.g., the PUMP Act in the U.S.)
Flexible work arrangements (like remote work or adjusted hours)
Napper’s tips: If you need accommodations, don’t hesitate to talk to HR or your manager. Frame it as a win-win since a supported parent is a more engaged, productive employee.
Your body is still recovering, and your energy will fluctuate. Think of it like your phone battery, it drains faster when overused. Instead of just scheduling tasks, schedule energy recharges:
Mid-morning meetings: Cortisol naturally dips, making this an ideal time for focus work
Mini-breaks: Even a 60-second deep breathing exercise helps regulate stress
Light movement: A short walk or stretch can reset your nervous system
Napper’s tips: If you can, align your tasks with your natural energy levels. Save deep-focus work for when you feel alert and routine tasks for when you’re running on low power.
Regardless of feeding choices, childcare plans, or job flexibility, the emotional shift is huge. You might feel:
Guilt: “Am I abandoning my baby?”
Anxiety: “What if something happens while I’m gone?”
Nostalgia: “I’ll never get this time back.”
Relief: “It’s nice to use my brain in a different way.”
All of these feelings are valid, even if they contradict each other. The key is to acknowledge them without judgment and remind yourself that adapting takes time.
One of the biggest stressors for working parents? Childcare gaps. Babies get sick. Caregivers cancel. Meetings run late.
Plan ahead:
Have a backup plan (trusted neighbor, flexible work arrangement)
Know your employer’s sick-day policies
Stock up on essentials (thermometer, saline spray, extra snacks for caregivers)
The goal isn’t to eliminate disruption but rather reduce panic when plans change course.
Feeling emotional is normal. But if you’re experiencing:
Constant dread or anxiety
Persistent sadness or detachment
Panic attacks or intrusive thoughts
…you may be dealing with postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum anxiety (PPA). These are common, treatable conditions. And remember, you don’t have to struggle alone.
Napper’s tips: Seek help if your emotions feel unmanageable or interfere with daily life. Talk to a doctor, therapist, or a parent support group.
Let’s bust a common myth: Children of working parents thrive. Studies show they develop strong social skills, adaptability, and resilience.
Instead of feeling guilty, try reframing your mindset with these gentle mantras:
“I’m modeling independence.”
“I’m providing for my family in a way that works for us.”
“My baby is building bonds with other caregivers.”
You are not failing your baby. You are showing them different ways love and care can look.
Parenthood doesn’t end your ambition, but it may shift your priorities. Some parents:
Delay promotions to reduce stress
Seek more flexible roles
Feel a renewed sense of purpose in their work
None of these choices are wrong. Your career isn’t “off track”; it’s adapting to your evolving needs.
This transition looks different for everyone.
For non-birthing parents: You might feel a different kind of emotional shift: missing milestones, adjusting to new routines, or navigating changing dynamics with your partner. Your role is equally important, and your feelings are valid.
For LGBTQ+ parents: Workplace support may not always feel inclusive. Seek employee resource groups or allies to ensure policies reflect your family’s needs.
For single parents: Balancing everything solo is a unique challenge. If you have a trusted support network, lean on them. If not, look into local parent groups for connection.
The first weeks feel chaotic. But studies show that most parents find their rhythm within 8-12 weeks.
Here's what to expect:
Week 1-2: Emotional whiplash, exhaustion, guilt
Week 3-6: More predictable routine, childcare adjustments
Week 7-12: Confidence grows, stress stabilizes
This transition period is temporary. One day, you’ll realize you went a full hour without checking your phone for baby updates.
Balancing work and parenting is a skill, not a test. Some days you’ll crush it. Others, you’ll feel like you’re barely holding on. It's all part of the process.
Never forget:
Your body is adjusting.
Your baby is adapting.
Your worth isn’t measured by your ability to “do it all.”
You're doing something remarkable: nurturing your baby while continuing your professional journey. It's not always easy, but you're showing up, figuring it out, and growing stronger every day. You’re writing your own version of balance, one day at a time.
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