Sleep Deprivation and Hormones: A Love Letter to Struggling New Parents

What’s really happening

Becoming a parent is one of life's most transformative experiences. But let’s be honest, those early days can feel like an emotional tightrope. One moment, you’re overwhelmed with love; the next, you’re crying over spilled milk. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this normal?”—the answer is a resounding yes.

Here's a little science to explain why you feel like you're on an emotional rollercoaster: In the first few days after birth, your estrogen and progesterone levels drop dramatically. Meanwhile, your body is running on fragments of sleep, trying to heal, and producing milk. It’s like running a marathon while someone keeps moving the finish line.

These shifts aren’t just about hormones. Your brain is also rewiring itself to focus on your baby. Studies show that new parents experience structural changes in the brain, especially in areas linked to empathy, decision-making, and emotional regulation. This means your feelings aren’t only valid; they’re part of a profound transformation happening at a neurological level.

The reality of these days

In periods of self-doubt, remember this: You’re not alone. This phase is temporary. And most importantly, you’re doing better than you think. Let’s dive into what’s really happening during this time and how you can navigate it with a little more ease and a lot more self-compassion.

Some days, you might:

• Feel like crying over spilled breast milk (totally valid).

• Miss who you used to be (while loving who you're becoming).

• Wonder if you'll ever sleep again (you will).

• Feel simultaneously overwhelmed with love and the weight of parenthood (yes, both can exist at once).

These emotions are all part of the journey. Being a parent isn’t a straight path; it’s a winding road with ups, downs, and unexpected detours. And that’s okay. Your body, mind, and heart are working overtime to adjust to this new chapter. The exhaustion is real. The joy is real. The doubts are real. And none of it means you're failing.

The truth about this time

You're not doing it all wrong. You’re navigating one of the most intense physical and emotional experiences a human can go through. Those middle-of-the-night moments when you feel most alone? Millions of parents are up with you, doing exactly what you’re doing.

This time is messy, beautiful, and exhausting—all at once. And while it might not feel like it right now, you’re doing the best you can.

What nobody tells you

It's okay if you:

• Don't enjoy every minute.

• Need a break.

• Feel differently than you expected.

• Miss your old life.

• Are too tired to feel grateful.

Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about presence. You don’t have to love every second to be a great caregiver. Some moments will be filled with pure magic, and others will be about getting through the next five minutes. Both are normal.

The sleep thing

Let's talk about sleep deprivation. It's not just tiredness; it's a full-body experience that affects everything from your emotions to your ability to find your keys (which are probably in your hand).

When people tell you to "sleep when the baby sleeps," they forget to mention that sometimes you'll be too wired, worried, or overwhelmed to actually sleep. And that’s okay.

Rest doesn’t always mean sleep. Sometimes, it’s just sitting quietly with a cup of tea or closing your eyes for five minutes, or listening to music that soothes your nervous system. Finding small ways to recharge, even if they don’t look like traditional rest, can make a huge difference.

Your hormones are not your enemy

Those hormone shifts are doing important work, helping you tune into your baby’s needs and bond with your little one. But they can also make everything feel more intense. That’s not weakness; it’s biology. Your body is healing, adjusting, and creating life-sustaining milk. It’s no wonder you feel like you’re on an emotional rollercoaster.

Oxytocin, the “love hormone,” is surging through your system, strengthening your connection with your baby. But it also makes you more sensitive to stress. Cortisol, the stress hormone, fluctuates wildly, making even small things feel overwhelming. Understanding that these ups and downs are part of the process can help you be gentler with yourself.

A gentle reminder

You don't need to:

• Be perfect.

• Do it all.

• Feel happy all the time.

• Have it figured out.

• Keep up with other parents.

Parenting isn’t a competition. It’s a journey, and you’re allowed to take it at your own pace. Some days will feel easier than others, and that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

What you’re actually doing

Let’s reframe this: You’re not “just” surviving. You’re:

• Learning a new person.

• Becoming a new person.

• Healing your body.

• Managing on minimal sleep.

• Doing the most important work there is.

Every diaper change, every middle-of-the-night feed, every cuddle that soothes your baby—it all counts. This intense period will pass. The hormones will settle. Sleep will come again. And before you know it, you’ll have moments where you realize just how much you’ve grown.

Until then, please remember that you're doing enough. You are enough. This work of early parenthood is hard, and you're showing up for it every day.

Moving through

The days are long, but you're strong. Not the kind of strong that means you have to do it all, but the kind of strong that keeps showing up, keeps loving, keeps going even when it's hard. You're doing the work, dear parent. Even when it doesn't feel like it. Even when it just feels hard. You're growing into parenthood, and growth takes time.

So, here's your permission slip to:

• Rest whenever you can.

• Ask for help.

• Say no to visitors.

• Leave the dishes.

• Take care of yourself.

• Feel all your feelings.

There’s no prize for doing this the hardest way possible. Give yourself the same kindness you’d give a dear friend, and try to take it one hour at a time. Find small joys where you can. A warm shower, fresh air, a conversation with someone who understands—these little things add up.

Take it hour by hour

Accept help when it's offered, and be gentle with yourself. Even when you feel alone, there are people who want to support you. Sometimes, that’s a partner, a friend, or a fellow parent who just gets it. Sometimes, it’s a professional who can help you navigate postpartum emotions. Reaching out isn’t a sign of struggle; it’s a sign of strength.

At Napper, we’re here to make your parenting journey weightless. From personalized nap schedules to soothing sleep soundscapes, our app is designed to support you and your baby. Because you deserve peace of mind, rest, and the space to feel like yourself again.

Remember, this season is temporary, but your perseverance under pressure is building something beautiful. You've got this. And on the days when you don't feel like you've got this, we've got you.